The Golden Rule: How Treating Your Students with Respect Produces Better Outcomes

When I first started teaching high schoolers, a friend who had been working with teens and young adults for over twenty years was kind enough to meet me one Saturday in September for a cup of coffee on the beach. As we walked along the shore with our toes in the cool water, I asked her if she had any advice for a new teacher. She responded, “If you embarrass a student, you’ll have a very hard time earning back their trust.” She didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t press for more. Somehow the weight of her words hung heavy as the waves settled along the shoreline, bringing our conversation to a natural pause. After a while we shook the sand from our shoes and walked towards our cars. 

As I drove home, my friend’s words sat in the center of my chest like a chunky, chalky vitamin swallowed without a drink. In what ways do teachers embarrass their students? I wondered, scrolling through my rolodex of interactions from the first couple of weeks to see if I had been the culprit of such an offense. Then, without warning, a memory from my own days in high school came rushing back to me. A teacher had thrown my textbook in the garbage because I hadn’t kept my desk tidy enough, and the whole class laughed as she gestured to the trash can and instructed me to retrieve my book. I was friends with many of the students in the class, but still, somehow, the dread and shame of that experience came flooding back to me as if it were happening at that very moment.

Have I embarrassed or disrespected any of my students? Of course, I would never throw a student’s textbook in the trash! But could there be other minor, subtle infractions that are equally as harmful to my relationship with students? 

I went home and opened my teaching journal. Here is an excerpt from that day:

Am I treating my students with respect? I know what it feels like to be treated with disrespect, so of course I do not want a student in my class to ever feel this way, but how do I know what they are experiencing from their side of the relationship?

From that day forward, I asked myself this same question before making any decisions about all aspects of teaching—-from brainstorming project ideas, to planning units and lessons, to how I greet students when they enter my classroom, to designing purposeful assessments, to choosing books and artworks that are relevant to their lives, to preparing materials before class, to how I dress in the classroom, and, most importantly, how I interact with students. Am I making choices that show respect for the group of students I have the privilege of teaching?

There have been a lot of conversations in the past year or so about bias in the classroom. We need to look inward and ask ourselves about the biases we hold, and whether they hinder our ability to fully accept and respect our students. 

The other day, as I was watering my houseplants, I learned a lesson about teaching. Of course, a flower grows with water and sunlight. That is the nature of flowers. In order to have a healthy houseplant in my apartment, I need to respect the nature of plants and give them what nourishes them. By the same logic, we need to get to know our students better, to find out exactly what helps them thrive. Let’s respect the nature of who our students are, and support them as they become the fullest expression of themselves.

Teachers, our students deserve our respect. It is our responsibility to nourish and protect the people we teach, from little ones to adults. If you aren’t sure how to evaluate how you are actually treating your students, you may need to start with yourself. Are you taking good care of yourself? How do you show respect for yourself? Find what works for you and extend the same grace to your students, day after day. You might also see my blog post, Showing Deep Respect for Students in Your University or K-12 Art Classroom for more specifics about how this applies to teaching art. Thank you for reading.